communicating during conflict

went to YMCA staff training yesterday, and the first workshop was on communicating effectively during conflict. here are a few useful things I have retained:

-the relationship comes first, not the conflict

-the person and the problem are two separate things

-listen, then paraphrase or validate what the other person is feeling/expressing, ex- "it sounds like this is really bothering/stressing/hurting you"

-words that should not be used: always, never

-instead of using "you" sentences, start with "I" sentences, ex- "I feel sad when... " instead of "you make me feel sad"