dear mom and dad

"So much has been said between my parents and me over the years, but it doesn't matter. In the end, the ways in which we betrayed each other aren't relevant anymore. My parents may never be who I want them to be. I may never be loved the way I want to be. My scars may never go away. My parents may never live outside their realm of self-involvement. But I will always long for a time when we can be close again. It's a secret type of longing, like an old lover you can't get out of your head. My parents' spirit will always be with me. Like a dream I will always have. Maybe one day it will be our time again. And when that day comes, I will feel at last that they forgive me, as I do them.
     Perhaps freedom will finally come when I stop hoping for a different childhood, different parents."


this was taken from the book Playground by Jennifer Saginor. I read it last summer, however current events in my life bring me back to this particular passage; it could not be more fitting.